Showing posts with label serious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label serious. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

living in a color coded world.

Look out, I'm going to get a little serious on you guys!

When I was a kid I was label as different or “special.” At a very young age I was ‘diagnosed’ with a learning disability. I struggled with reading, writing, achromatic and pretty much anything that had to do with school.

Wikipedia says:

Dyslexia is a broad term defining a learning disability that impairs a person's fluency or comprehension accuracy in being able to read, speak, and spell, and which can manifest itself as a difficulty with phonological awareness, phonological decoding, orthographic coding, auditory short-term memory, and/or rapid naming. Dyslexia is separate and distinct from reading difficulties resulting from other causes, such as a non-neurological deficiency with vision or hearing, or from poor or inadequate reading instruction.

It pretty much means a person with dyslexia has problems reading and comprehending symbols such as letters and numbers. When I was in elementary school and we were just learning to write and read if you held my hand written name up to a mirror you could actually read it better. Twenty some years ago they didn’t know what to do with a kid like me, so I got jammed into the “Special Education” classes. I did need extra help, that was for sure, but not the way they thought. The classes made me very lazy and it took a long time for me to finally understand how to read and write. My parents were lost as well. Thankfully they hired a wonderful home tutor to help me get through my struggles.

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I have a lot of difficulties getting through elementary and middle school, suddenly in high school something clicked in my brain. I pretty much taught myself strategies for reading and writing that worked for me. Most of my teachers from grade school told my parents that they didn’t believe I would make it through high school. I made sure to prove them wrong. I graduate with honors with a 3.8 grade point average. I had made it.

Color coding seriously has saved my learning ability. I didn’t realize it until years later but I used to use multi colored high lighters for everything I was learning. If I was in a play my script was covered in marker and colors. My eyes could focus better of the colors then it could the words and it helped my brain process the information. In the past few years I’ve talked to parents of children with the same problem as me, and they also use color coding to help get through their studies.

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I do sometimes worry that Aurora will have the same struggles as me. I remember it being very difficult and painful, I watched as my friends learned in school and I couldn’t. I was bullied with the best of them, called names, shoved into lockers, even pushed down a flight of stairs. It’s a hard reality but sometimes kids just don’t understand. I’m just thankful I went through it, and have learned from it so I can teach Aurora, or the new little one, how to handle learning a little bit better. There are also different levels of the learning disability; some people need a little help, some a lot. Just like everything else, each case is different for every person.

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Some people think that people with learning disabilities are stupid and slow. I have found this to be the complete opposite of the truth. Most of them have better knowledge and interesting things to say than any other “normal” person I’ve meet. Is it because they have to work harder to gain the information they know? I have no idea. I wear my dyslexia on my sleeve as a proud badge of honor. I used to be completely illiterate, but now I’m working my way through college and enjoying writing and blogging as much as I can. It might take me longer to do things than others, but it doesn’t mean I can’t, it just means I get to work harder as something I love to do.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Of life and death....

I’ve been struggling for the past few days on if I wanted to share this information but I feel like I should. Last week I had a dream (as many of you know from my facebook post.) It wasn’t just any ordinary crazy dream like I usually have it was much different. I dreamt that I talked to every person I’ve ever known who has died. I wouldn’t have found this dream so unusual if it had been one person or something like that because I’ve had that happen before. This dream they were all in a big room standing around having conversations waiting for me to come up and converse with them. The room looked like an old funeral parlor, which was pretty creepy. When I went up and talked to everyone though it was like they had been alive all along, like I had never “lost” them. I woke up confused. I know that these people aren’t around anymore so why did I dream of them?

I have dealt with the loose of family, friends, and people I barely knew, throughout life. Some people were very young, some old, some deaths were an accident some of natural causes and some subsides. It’s never easy to let a person go no matter who they are. I think the hardest part is being left behind. If you think about it the person who is gone might not even realize they are gone. There are different philosophies on what happens after you die and I truly believe that there is something more after this life. Whether you agree with me or not is your choice, I just know how I feel. There is nothing really to explain what happens, you hear stories of people seeing a white light and things like that but what really happens? I guess we will find out eventually.

One of my biggest points in sharing this is not to rush it. There has been an escalating amount of suicides in the past few months and it stings me deeply. I hate seeing people give up. The main question is why they give up anyways. Is it a comical imbalance in their brain that makes them believe the only way to end what they are going through is to end it all? What if everyone was a little more kind to each other, would that solve all our problems? Sadly I don’t think that would happen nor do I think it would wipe out the problem. The thing that strikes me about suicides is that a lot of people who are committing this act or attempting to think that this is how they will get the rest of the world back for what they’ve or we’ve done to them. That’s terrible. If a person wants revenge that badly that they would take their own life to cause someone else pain, what is this world coming too?

In talking about death you also have to take into consideration the people that are left behind. What happens to them? Now this is where the God thing gets pretty heavy for me. I think God has a plan for everyone but He also gave us the freedom of choice so sometimes we take off from our given path to explore “other things.” I think through that time God tosses out bread crumbs to us to try and direct us back to where he wants us to go. I think God understands that we may not always choice the “right” path so he makes back up plans. I do believe that God has selected us the perfect mate that we can share the rest of our lives with; someone who will understand who we are and how God helped form us. Sometimes that person may have taken the wrong path and gets lost or perhaps isn’t even in this life anymore. Stupid freedom of choice, right? I think that’s were Gods back up plan comes in. God wants us all to be happy, we are his children. He would never want us to be alone just because someone else made the wrong decision. There’s someone out there for everyone, not matter what choices we make.

Loosing someone you care about is hard enough. Seeing other people suffer from the loose can be even more difficult. My wish is that we can all learn from our own experiences and be kind to each other. It might make our time here just a little better. Now wouldn’t that be the best thing ever?