Right out of high school I was all packed up and ready to attending Oral Roberts University for Vocal Performance. My stuff never left the drive way. Between having health issues and being scared out of my mind, I didn’t go. My parents were very supportive and I stayed home and enrolled at the Community College of Allegheny County. At first I just started taking random classes but then I discovered they had a theater department. I had a great time there. I got the chance to meet some really wonderful people and have a great time on and off stage. Although my theater classes were going well, my academic classes were, well, not so good. When I got pregnant with Aurora I stopped attending school. Being a mom was way more important to me. I was already working full time and wanted to spend what other time I did have with my family.
As Aurora got older and I changed jobs it seemed like a perfect time to start back to school. I didn’t want to just work in a retail job forever and getting my degree has always been something I just wanted to do. I started classes at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh Online Division for my Bachelors in Photography in July of 2010. Little did I know when I enrolled that in August we would be packing everything up and moving to Arizona. Somehow through the move I kept my grades up and stayed positive.
Everything changed again when little Carolina arrived. Between the two kids and just basic family responsibilities I found it extremely hard to keep up with my classes. I was run down and just tired. I don’t think I turned in one assignment on time and I didn’t participate in any class discussions. I really should have taken a break but I thought I could push through, boy, was I wrong. I commend anyone who has a new child and continues to attend school. It’s really hard to juggle everything.
After a lot of tears and a really bad grade I decided to withdrawal from school. I felt horrible about this. It was like I was giving up. I felt even more terrible because I was spending so much time blogging and I could have been spending that time actually doing homework. It was so hard to get motivated to do anything for school though. Working on my blog has been much more inspiring and helpful. Reading stories from other moms has really been uplifting to me. I want my blog to mean something and to be my full time “job.” I also know it’s important to be educated.
For many reasons I’ve decided that leaving school isn’t the best answer to my problems. I was saying the other day that I felt like every time I take three steps closer to my goals I get shoved ten steps back. What a better way to reach my goals then getting an education to make those dreams happen? Anything worth doing is worth working for. My little big dream is to own my own shop to share my love of handmade goods and artists I adore and I’ve decided to change my major. If I want to own a business I should learn business, right? I think going from a specialized degree, like photography, to business is a smart move. I know it’s going to be super hard but I’m going to push through. I know I have the support of my wonderful family and hopefully you guys too. I’m still going to be doing photography as a hobby; I think that it will make me much happier.
Thanks for letting me rant. I feel much better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest.
So, what are you working hard for?