I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life lately. Not that I’m not doing something right now. Being a mother is a job all its own and is a wonderful thing. I’d like to do more though, is that a terrible thing? I think about school, should I go back, when to go back, and even what to go back for. It’s all a big swirling mess in my head. I have so many ideas of what I’d like to accomplish, if I put it all down on paper I think it would be a very scary thing.
A lot of time I feel like I’m not good enough to do all the things I want to. I think that I’m not smart enough or talented enough to do anything I really wish to do. The truth I’m only as talented as I let myself be. True, there is something to natural born talented that pushes people into certain things. I don’t think Van Gogh would be as wonderful of a painter if he didn’t have something from within that helped make him that way. I know that it also takes a lot of really hard work. I don’t think I’ve really tried.
I get so many ideas in my head of what I want to do and who I want to be I can’t ever focus on one thing to really become “good” at. To be really talented takes a lot of practice and hard work. I think you really have to believe in what you are doing. Believe with everything you are that you are doing something good, something beautiful even. I feel like I need to put some blinders on and really work on a particular “talent” until I get it right, at least until I get it to where I want it to be. I don’t know what that is yet. Music, photography, writing, crafting? I’m still working that out. I know whatever it is I have to really put effort in to focus and own it.
I told my husband the other day “Balls in or balls out. Do it or don’t.” It was about something completely off topic and rather silly but it’s true. Something you have to be all in or you shouldn’t bother with it at all.
What are your talents? Are you focusing on the things you really should be, or are you like me, all over the place.