Thursday, November 17, 2011


I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life lately. Not that I’m not doing something right now. Being a mother is a job all its own and is a wonderful thing. I’d like to do more though, is that a terrible thing? I think about school, should I go back, when to go back, and even what to go back for. It’s all a big swirling mess in my head. I have so many ideas of what I’d like to accomplish, if I put it all down on paper I think it would be a very scary thing.

A lot of time I feel like I’m not good enough to do all the things I want to. I think that I’m not smart enough or talented enough to do anything I really wish to do. The truth I’m only as talented as I let myself be. True, there is something to natural born talented that pushes people into certain things. I don’t think Van Gogh would be as wonderful of a painter if he didn’t have something from within that helped make him that way. I know that it also takes a lot of really hard work. I don’t think I’ve really tried.

I get so many ideas in my head of what I want to do and who I want to be I can’t ever focus on one thing to really become “good” at. To be really talented takes a lot of practice and hard work. I think you really have to believe in what you are doing. Believe with everything you are that you are doing something good, something beautiful even. I feel like I need to put some blinders on and really work on a particular “talent” until I get it right, at least until I get it to where I want it to be. I don’t know what that is yet. Music, photography, writing, crafting? I’m still working that out. I know whatever it is I have to really put effort in to focus and own it.

I told my husband the other day “Balls in or balls out. Do it or don’t.” It was about something completely off topic and rather silly but it’s true. Something you have to be all in or you shouldn’t bother with it at all.

What are your talents? Are you focusing on the things you really should be, or are you like me, all over the place.


  1. Are you in my head, seriously?? LOL. I go over the same things in my head ALL THE TIME. I get so stressed out and frustrated because I don't know what I want to do with my life...and I'm 27 now so I feel like I should have a pretty good idea by now! lol. I keep thinking I should go back to school for Nursing because I love helping people but that would put my husband and I into debt and we've also been having "the baby talk" a lot lately so I feel like that career would take too much time away from my family. Although we would be pretty well off money-wise. Then, I start thinking about doing craft shows and trying to sell my paintings but I don't know if that realistic either....siiiigggghh. No one buys art anymore..

    Sorry, to dump all of that on you. LOL I was just trying to say I know how you feel <3

  2. i have done the same thing try something once and give up because im not perfect at it. well that isn't the case. some people are good the instant they pick something up while others it takes a while. we are all different and thats what makes us perfect. i love my crafting so i am gonna keep at it till i have found my element that makes me shine. maybe it might be a good thing to write everything down and then focus on what is really important of what makes you happy and start from there. narrow the list down a bit. i know i want to be an artist and nothing else so i am gonna keep going down that path.

  3. photography all the way. I mean i know im not the best but i do try and im trying to learn more to make myself better.

    But im my worst critic lol im just gonna keep learning and keep snapping photos :)

  4. I know it SEEMS scary but putting things down on paper really does help. It suddenly makes all of those dreams and ideas real, you know? Perhaps a bucket list? That way, you're thinking about things you want to achieve in your lifetime and not right now, this minute, which is less scary. As for schooling, I wrote a post on that this morning that you MAY find helpful. Regardless, I think it's wonderful that you've written this so honestly. Everyone feels like this at one time or another; it's all about taking those baby steps xo