I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life lately. Not that I’m not doing something right now. Being a mother is a job all its own and is a wonderful thing. I’d like to do more though, is that a terrible thing? I think about school, should I go back, when to go back, and even what to go back for. It’s all a big swirling mess in my head. I have so many ideas of what I’d like to accomplish, if I put it all down on paper I think it would be a very scary thing.
A lot of time I feel like I’m not good enough to do all the things I want to. I think that I’m not smart enough or talented enough to do anything I really wish to do. The truth I’m only as talented as I let myself be. True, there is something to natural born talented that pushes people into certain things. I don’t think Van Gogh would be as wonderful of a painter if he didn’t have something from within that helped make him that way. I know that it also takes a lot of really hard work. I don’t think I’ve really tried.
I get so many ideas in my head of what I want to do and who I want to be I can’t ever focus on one thing to really become “good” at. To be really talented takes a lot of practice and hard work. I think you really have to believe in what you are doing. Believe with everything you are that you are doing something good, something beautiful even. I feel like I need to put some blinders on and really work on a particular “talent” until I get it right, at least until I get it to where I want it to be. I don’t know what that is yet. Music, photography, writing, crafting? I’m still working that out. I know whatever it is I have to really put effort in to focus and own it.
I told my husband the other day “Balls in or balls out. Do it or don’t.” It was about something completely off topic and rather silly but it’s true. Something you have to be all in or you shouldn’t bother with it at all.
What are your talents? Are you focusing on the things you really should be, or are you like me, all over the place.
Showing posts with label rambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rambling. Show all posts
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
random rambling: trust your gut.
If there is one thing in my life that has never ever failed me it’s my gut. There has been many times where I have failed to trust my gut feelings and it has always blown up in my face. It could be little things to huge decisions but my insides always know what’s best.
A huge example of this has to do with my health. When I was in high school I struggled with some serious thyroid issues. I was in and out of the hospital all that time. I had to go get my blood work every two weeks to make sure I was regulated. Every few months I would have an allergic reaction to the medication I was one and we would have to start all over again with something new. It was getting very old and kind of scary. There were concerns of developing cancer cells as well as my thyroid over reacting and pretty much frying me from the inside out. I was sent to a specialist. The first thing they talked about was radiation; they wanted to kill my thyroid. I quickly refused treatment. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t sound right to me. Something was telling me “NO! STOP! DON’T DO IT!” After I told them no they refused to continue treatment with me. I was too high of a risk to just have on medication. The doctors told me I probably wouldn’t live too long without serious medication or surgery. I stood by my decision. It’s not every day you hear from a doctor that you’re going to die in a few years but I didn’t care. I didn’t believe it was true.
Here I am at 26 years old and I’m living a full and healthy life. After some time past my thyroid started to regulate itself. I don’t need medication and I’m feeling pretty good. Some of my symptoms hung around. My hands still shake like a leaf, I still bruise like I have anemia, and my thyroid is still enlarged but there are no real issues. If I would have listened to the doctor I would have had to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life to supplement my thyroid hormone, doesn’t sound like fun to me. I’m not saying refusing treatment from a doctor is for everyone, by all means! There is a good reason why we have doctors to help and treat us when our bodies just can’t anymore. It’s just an example of when my gut feelings really came into play.
I’m so thankful for that little voice helping me and guiding me. It could be a job decision or a big move; I say follow your insides first. Sometimes I think our heads really can get in the way. Do you listen to your gut? Where has it lead you?
A huge example of this has to do with my health. When I was in high school I struggled with some serious thyroid issues. I was in and out of the hospital all that time. I had to go get my blood work every two weeks to make sure I was regulated. Every few months I would have an allergic reaction to the medication I was one and we would have to start all over again with something new. It was getting very old and kind of scary. There were concerns of developing cancer cells as well as my thyroid over reacting and pretty much frying me from the inside out. I was sent to a specialist. The first thing they talked about was radiation; they wanted to kill my thyroid. I quickly refused treatment. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t sound right to me. Something was telling me “NO! STOP! DON’T DO IT!” After I told them no they refused to continue treatment with me. I was too high of a risk to just have on medication. The doctors told me I probably wouldn’t live too long without serious medication or surgery. I stood by my decision. It’s not every day you hear from a doctor that you’re going to die in a few years but I didn’t care. I didn’t believe it was true.
Here I am at 26 years old and I’m living a full and healthy life. After some time past my thyroid started to regulate itself. I don’t need medication and I’m feeling pretty good. Some of my symptoms hung around. My hands still shake like a leaf, I still bruise like I have anemia, and my thyroid is still enlarged but there are no real issues. If I would have listened to the doctor I would have had to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life to supplement my thyroid hormone, doesn’t sound like fun to me. I’m not saying refusing treatment from a doctor is for everyone, by all means! There is a good reason why we have doctors to help and treat us when our bodies just can’t anymore. It’s just an example of when my gut feelings really came into play.
I’m so thankful for that little voice helping me and guiding me. It could be a job decision or a big move; I say follow your insides first. Sometimes I think our heads really can get in the way. Do you listen to your gut? Where has it lead you?
Monday, May 9, 2011
art VS craft.
A little while ago I asked a question on my facebook and on my twitter.
artist VS crafter... what’s the difference?
“There are many kinds of Artists.” April Flourish Café
I got a rapid response to this question. Apparently it is a very hot topic in the “art” world. Some might say that art and craft are two very different worlds. Crafts are what Grandma makes and what kids do in Sunday school. I think that is far from the truth. Even as I studied Art History the art of “craft” making was a topic we studied.
“You can’t have good art without solid craft. Crafters are artists who make things for people who appreciate art in all forms.” – Danielle the merriweather council.
She is so right; to truly understand what they are creating a “crafter” has to understand all aspects of art. Crafting is just as visual as the highest level of art. Just because one person works with felt and another person works with paint doesn’t mean they don’t apply the same elements to what they are creating. Color, texture, and balance come into play with any type of art. A master cake decorator uses a lot of the same technical ideas that a sculptor might. It’s all the same.
“You can be whatever you want, they’re just labels.” – Roxanne The 60/40.
We can all argue till our fists are pumping and our faces turn blue but in the end, it’s just a label. Recently I’ve been struggling with my inner desire to be an “artist.” It’s like the dream everyone has of seeing their name up in lights. After posing this question and really digging deep I’ve come to the conclusion that I can call myself whatever I want. If one day I want to be a crafter, okay. The next day I’m feeling artsy, good for me. I might never make it into a college text book but who wants to be the reason some poor kid is going to have to stay up all night and write a paper about anyways? Not this lady!
The world is full of artists. Are you an artist or a crafter? Both?
I got a rapid response to this question. Apparently it is a very hot topic in the “art” world. Some might say that art and craft are two very different worlds. Crafts are what Grandma makes and what kids do in Sunday school. I think that is far from the truth. Even as I studied Art History the art of “craft” making was a topic we studied.
“You can’t have good art without solid craft. Crafters are artists who make things for people who appreciate art in all forms.” – Danielle the merriweather council.
She is so right; to truly understand what they are creating a “crafter” has to understand all aspects of art. Crafting is just as visual as the highest level of art. Just because one person works with felt and another person works with paint doesn’t mean they don’t apply the same elements to what they are creating. Color, texture, and balance come into play with any type of art. A master cake decorator uses a lot of the same technical ideas that a sculptor might. It’s all the same.
“You can be whatever you want, they’re just labels.” – Roxanne The 60/40.
We can all argue till our fists are pumping and our faces turn blue but in the end, it’s just a label. Recently I’ve been struggling with my inner desire to be an “artist.” It’s like the dream everyone has of seeing their name up in lights. After posing this question and really digging deep I’ve come to the conclusion that I can call myself whatever I want. If one day I want to be a crafter, okay. The next day I’m feeling artsy, good for me. I might never make it into a college text book but who wants to be the reason some poor kid is going to have to stay up all night and write a paper about anyways? Not this lady!
The world is full of artists. Are you an artist or a crafter? Both?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
fresh starts.
Well, March is starting to wrap up here. I feel like all the crazy business is starting to slow down. We are taking Granny to the airport today. It's really sad for everyone. It's so nice to have her here, and Aurora loves her so much. It just sticks that we can't live closer. Honestly, I don't think we would be happy back in Pittsburgh. I miss our families so much, but we love it here so much. It's so difficult.
With all the events and visits coming to a close here pretty soon I just keep thinking of a fresh start. I think in life you can hit the "freshen" button as many times as you need too to get going again. This past quarter has been going very poorly in my classes, well, my math class. I can only hope that I get through it. I did pretty well in my Photography class and I feel like I learned a lot in it. Math has always been my downfall. This exact class is one of the main reasons I never finished college the first time around. I'm crossing my fingers for a C at this point.
I'll have finished a year of college after these classes are done and I can't believe it. I can't give up now, I've been doing so well. I cut down to part time due to the baby being on the way. I think it really is for the best. It might take me longer, but that's okay. Classes stress me out enough and I have so many things I want to focus my time on now it's hard to juggle. I hope I can still manage with the new baby.
{i'm obsessed with this photo. I took it in sedona, az and used picnik.com to edit it.}
My Fresh Start list: - Take special time with my family. - Enjoy the one on one time with Aurora. - Prepare for a new little arrival. - Maintain a B average in my classes. {only if I am successful at the previous 4} - Start an Etsy shop. - Be involved in more art events (but only when I can.)
I don't want to give up on my little Etsy journey, I feel like I have a lot of pressure in my life and maybe the timing isn't perfect, but I've been waiting too long to do this to stop now. It's been my goal, and it's really what I want to do. I'm not giving up.
Here's hoping!
P.S. I totally screwed up my appointment date and we find out TONIGHT if we are having a boy or a girl. I blame the pregnancy on my total lack of brain function!
With all the events and visits coming to a close here pretty soon I just keep thinking of a fresh start. I think in life you can hit the "freshen" button as many times as you need too to get going again. This past quarter has been going very poorly in my classes, well, my math class. I can only hope that I get through it. I did pretty well in my Photography class and I feel like I learned a lot in it. Math has always been my downfall. This exact class is one of the main reasons I never finished college the first time around. I'm crossing my fingers for a C at this point.
I'll have finished a year of college after these classes are done and I can't believe it. I can't give up now, I've been doing so well. I cut down to part time due to the baby being on the way. I think it really is for the best. It might take me longer, but that's okay. Classes stress me out enough and I have so many things I want to focus my time on now it's hard to juggle. I hope I can still manage with the new baby.
I don't want to give up on my little Etsy journey, I feel like I have a lot of pressure in my life and maybe the timing isn't perfect, but I've been waiting too long to do this to stop now. It's been my goal, and it's really what I want to do. I'm not giving up.
Here's hoping!
P.S. I totally screwed up my appointment date and we find out TONIGHT if we are having a boy or a girl. I blame the pregnancy on my total lack of brain function!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
the guy.
I just wanted to take a second to talk about this guy I know. He drives me unbelievably crazy, and I couldn’t live without him. I’ve talked about my husband, Marc, here and there. He really is a special guy. There really isn’t anyone else in the world I would rather put up with than him. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s true! When you’re looking for your soul mate you can’t just look at the wonderful and great things about them, you also have to remember that they have faults just like you. Trust me I have about a million faults, sometimes I don’t know how or why he tolerates me, but he does. I really do enjoy every minute with him. I have never laughed so hard, I’ve never cried so much, and I’ve never been so happy with anyone else.
I saw this on letterhappy's shop via etsy, and i instantly thought of Marc.
We met six years ago this June on an impromptu blind date to a Clarks concert. I will save you the mushy details, but it was love at first sight I think. We started off very happy, got a little rocky, got really rocky, broke up, got back together, broke up, got pregnant, got back together, got married… and well… the rest is history. I always say Aurora saved my life, if it wasn’t for her I don’t know that I would be here now with this amazing guy by my side. Marc has supported me no matter what I’ve wanted to do. He pushes me to be a better person if he knows it or not. I need someone who is going to push me, and not let me give up, and he’s that man. He is my solid ground in stormy waters.
Marc and Piston
To anyone single out there, don’t settle for less than perfect. It’s so sad to me how many people split anymore. Sometimes I think that the “fools rush in” cliché is so true. If its love, than its love, but make sure that the love will last through the good times, and the bad. The most important thing is to love who you are and know who you are, so the person you are with can do the same.
vol25 Love yourself!
Okay, enough with the cheesy mushy stuff. I think I’m going to go cry now… only happy tears!
capow
Hug a loved one today!!
We met six years ago this June on an impromptu blind date to a Clarks concert. I will save you the mushy details, but it was love at first sight I think. We started off very happy, got a little rocky, got really rocky, broke up, got back together, broke up, got pregnant, got back together, got married… and well… the rest is history. I always say Aurora saved my life, if it wasn’t for her I don’t know that I would be here now with this amazing guy by my side. Marc has supported me no matter what I’ve wanted to do. He pushes me to be a better person if he knows it or not. I need someone who is going to push me, and not let me give up, and he’s that man. He is my solid ground in stormy waters.
To anyone single out there, don’t settle for less than perfect. It’s so sad to me how many people split anymore. Sometimes I think that the “fools rush in” cliché is so true. If its love, than its love, but make sure that the love will last through the good times, and the bad. The most important thing is to love who you are and know who you are, so the person you are with can do the same.
Okay, enough with the cheesy mushy stuff. I think I’m going to go cry now… only happy tears!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
blogging late might not be such a good idea.
I sit here in the recliner of this home and wonder why I am not asleep. My thoughts fly in a thousand directions. What I could do what I could create and how I can get there. I don’t feel right unless I am making something. My hands must always be going a million miles a moment to feel whole and right. I can’t stop myself. I must use color. I must be pulling; snipping, gluing, painting, clicking, or I don’t feel right. My eyes ach to close but not I must resist for one more moment of inspiration. If I can just get the urge to do, I will.
Do you ever get so tired you can’t sit still? I think I’m there.
So I drift off to dreams and leave you with some creative things….
Do you ever get so tired you can’t sit still? I think I’m there.
So I drift off to dreams and leave you with some creative things….
1. violetbellaphoto 2. ashleyg 3. katiefenwick 4. blackoutwell 5. CameraSHYphotography 6. feltandfound
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